Monday, January 18, 2010

The one where I let it all out

A breather

That's what i'm going to take.

I have been feeling overwhelmed lately.

I know I don't normally get into much of my own personal life on this blog.

It's all about my sweet princess.

But i'm going to give you a glimpse of what's going on in our life and perhaps you can understand why I don't blog as much or visit your blogs as much.

First up...

Sophia doesn't nap anymore. ever.

If she did nap it would be late in the afternoon and the girl would not go to bed until LATE.

So I decided no more naps.

Would I rather have my evenings free or 1.5 hours in the afternoon for quiet?

Evenings please. I have shows to watch.

She is totally fine with no nap. Didn't phase her. Me on the other hand? I'm tired.

I miss nap time.

Ok, so that was the easy one to deal with.

The second is that my husband Chris was laid off of work almost 9 months ago.

Totally sucks. He had a good job.

Finding a new job? Near impossible.

He has been doing side jobs (web design etc.) for the meantime.

We have been lucky and that has kept us a float. But it's been tough.

Penny pinching is my least favorite hobby in the world.

I was working part time (20 hours a week) at home while Sophia napped and weekends. Then I left that job and started my own thing working for a local Realtor. December I didn't work for him, but will be starting up again next week (hopefully). The only problem. Sophia doesn't nap anymore. Weekends working to the max here I come.

Really, really, really praying for something solid to come through for Chris. Did I mention it's been very hard? Financially and relationship wise. We are both working from home. Always together. always. Sounds romantic? It's not ;)

Ok and the big kicker is Chris' health.

Some of you might remember me mentioning that Chris had a brain/pituitary tumour? Well he did/does. It will never fully be gone. He has had two surgeries to remove what they could (a craniotomy and one that involves going through his nasal cavities). Pleasant!

He also had radiation last April for five weeks solid.

We just found out that his pituitary is no longer working. Nada, nothing, zip.

Your pituitary gland is responsible for most all of your hormones.

Chris has to go on complete hormone replacement.

He has to wear a medic alert bracelet.

The really bad news is that we most likely won't be able to have any more children.

Gulp. Brace for tears.

There is hope however. We could try different treatments.

But they would all be very costly.

So praying extra super duper hard that we will soon be graced with good news and something to celebrate in our life. (Besides celebrating Sophia, which I do everyday!)

A job that has medical would be ideal. A miracle in that we could still get pregnant (when Chris' is ready of course ;)

So to my family and friends please put on your prayer hats and keep us in your prayers.

I'm feeling a little sad, homesick, lost, confused.

Really feeling the urge to move back home to Vancouver.

I'm not sure if that's my scared self talking.

I want Sophia to be near my parents.

I want to be near my parents.

I want trees and rain.

I want to not be struggling anymore.

I trust in God and I know He will take care of us.

It's in His hands.

I just hope I am listening.

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My two peeps on our way to Church.

She is growing like a weed!

(fyi- her hair is not crispy, I just sprayed it down with water to style it)

8 comments:

Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...

So sorry honey. Huge hugs coming your way. And my opinion? Move. Maybe you can both find jobs elsewhere!

My Little Corner said...

Well, it looks like you're officially a member of the "Overwhelmed Club"! I've been there myself a few times and it's not the most pleasant club to be in. However, it's not a lifelong stint....I promise.

I will give God a little tug on the sleeve on your behalf when I'm talking to Him....

I'm sure your mom and dad would love to have you move back home, but big decisions usually should be made when your Club membership has been terminated.

Hugs to all of you!

amanda said...

doesn't it feel good to put it all out there?

deep breaths. it will work out. promise. it always does. and most times? better than we even could have imagined.

lots of prayers. lots of hugs.

Just Bob said...

A dad to his daughter; keep on keeping on girl. You're from good stock and have deep roots of hope and faith. These times produce who we will become in the future and ground us in the present. You were my Sophia and we made it and so will you.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on".

Allikaye's Mama said...

Oh girl! I am so glad you shared because now I know what to pray for, for you! I am going to pray pray pray!! I treasure our friendship...even if it is bloggy...maybe more someday!! And ya know...God already knows how this chapter in your lives ends...and then on to the next exciting chapter!! Love ya girl!
I am emailing you tomorrow!!

Chris said...

It definitely helps to get out there. You are in my prayers! In the end, things will come together just as they should!

Chelle said...

Aw, hun, I'm so sorry :(

I had no idea that any of this was going on. {{{hugs}}}

I'm praying for it all--a wonderful job, health, babies, everything.

If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to email me. Kay? Because as a friend? I puffy heart you.

A lot.

And sometimes it feels better just to get it all out there. Like a weight has been lifted a little. And just knowing how many of us truly do love you!

xoxo

Ms.Mara said...

Sorry to hear how stressful things have been for you and your family. I truly hope that Chris finds a great job with medical benefits soon. Thank you for sharing.